What would Hodgins have done?

Bugs gross me out. I don't know what it is, exactly that bothers me about them, but they really freak me out. Maybe it's their weird little limbs that move so fast. I don't know - I just know that I don't like having to deal with them.

A little while ago I found one upside down by my bathroom door. This episode made me furious, scared, and sad. Fear was my initial reaction for obvious reasons. I was (am) furious because after all the efforts the apartment complex made us put forth in order to exterminate all those bugs - there it was laying there, antennae stretched out to me. I, of course, had the boyfriend get rid of it. But before he came to dispose of the thing, I watched it laying there on it's back for a few seconds. Then I was sad.

It was dying.

I wondered where it came from. At first I thought I'd scope out where it came from to investigate a possible nest, or whatever those bug lairs are called. But now I am actually wondering; where did it come from? It was a rather large bug, so it must have had a long life, relative to bug standards anyway. How did it survive all the sprays and powders that were supposed to kill them all? Was it the last one? (Please let it be!)

And, what was it thinking, laying there on it's back, knowing it was about to die? It must have known.

Hmmm.

Happy Bday, OC! This one's for you, cherie!

It's that time of year again! Yes, yes, it is! Time for Harry Potter!

I just reread The Deathly Hallows and cannot wait for it. Simply cannot wait. AND I cannot believe how the writing amazes me every time I pick up one of the books. When I think of all those people who were, like, clinically depressed or whatever after watching Avatar and "couldn't go on" because Pandora didn't really exist - I say, "have you even heard about Hogwarts?"

Seriously, though. If you're gonna be all upset that a world may or may not exist, it better involve castles, pictures that move, house-elves named Dobby, Quidditch, and wandlore! Furthermore, what's the deal with Harry? Why does he use Expelliarmus and ONLY Expelliarmus? If I was a witch/wizard and my life was continuously threatened I would most definitely pick up a book and learn all the effing spells I could muster. Ya ain't gonna see me stumbling around yelling, "Expelliarmus!" as my only defense! I mean, Hagrid could do that! No wonder his wand took over at some point!

Okay. I got that (mostly) out of my system.

On to a new subject: Tomorrow is my sister's bday! So...Happy Bday, @ocie7up! OC has been a survivor of the Seattle streets for one whole month! She's been living off of coffee beans and a pink luggage bag full of dreams! She's a real-life adventurer and I hope she has some fun tomorrow. (Don't worry...she hasn't really been on "the streets." Not really.)

I say again, "Happy Bday, OC! This one's for you, cherie!"

formspring.me

uh...what it do? (baby boo) http://formspring.me/boncheon

Told you my drawings were getting better

Just look how accurate I am!*

I ♥ Caska










*In reference to previous post
For awesome drawing of Caska CLICK HERE 
OR, just, um, scroll down. :P

Need a distraction

I've just finished reading one of the most disturbing books I've ever read. It's such a horrible thing sometimes, imagination. As a child I was never allowed to read scary stories, watch thrillers, or even discuss the horrifying unimaginable. Now when I come across some foul literature or film, the ideas encompassed irk me into nightmares and sometimes instances of paranoia.

Sometimes I wonder if I had been able to witness some of these disturbing films, literature, and the like, whether or not I would be able to handle them now. Is seeing or thinking about human cruelty, nature, or fear-inducing images at an early age like being administered a vaccine against disease? If it is, then I most certainly missed out and have not grown an immunity of any sort.

In other words, I'm drinking diet coke, sleep-deprived, and officially freaked out.

True Love

Sometimes I want to be mean to my cat. I just want to squeeze her lights out till she can't meow anymore.

But I don't. I mean, I can't. So instead I tell her I'm going to noogie her really hard. Like really hard.
*insert evil laugh*

Damn, I was going for "pensive."

have you ever wanted to write about your life? tell your story? be heard?
if you did, what would it say?

i've asked myself this question a thousand times, but i can never really pin the answer. it's almost as if my story has a million beginnings, but they never really add up to much more than a few failed ideas. this saddens me.

i suppose my problem lies in the fact that i don't really know what i want for myself. don't get me wrong - i want stuff. i want to be stuff. i want to create. but i don't know what i'm meant to be, or have, or to create. and it is frustrating.


in other news: i ate way too much pizza. like the sickening, full-until-tomorrow's-lunch kind of too much. and it's making me feel doubly saddened.

long time no type

i got my little laptop back in action as of this morning. i can't do any graphic work on it like my desktop, but i friggin LOVE the little keyboard. something about how tiny it is makes me just want to type and type till the sun don't shine (which actually is probably pretty soon).

what is it about miniature things that makes them so lovable? perhaps it's the vulnerability. like kittens. they're so tiny and fragile and i just want to scoop them up and squish them. sometimes i think there's a Lennie (from Of Mice and Men) in everyone - except that most of us eventually learn limits. freakin' Lennie. what the heck, right?

Rock-bottom

did i ever tell you i'm LDS? well, an in-active member, but a member no less. for years i've grappled with the idea of going back to church, only to be Stone-Cold-Stunner-ed back to my doubts. there are some LDS concepts that i don't think i'll ever be able to come to terms with. however, it must be said that active members are probably the most persistent people on the planet; i can't seem to shake 'em.
i'm beginning to think it's a sign. but a sign for what? i really don't know. i don't know if i'm up for another Stunner, because, let's face it - that crap hurts!

                                                                                               

my boyfriend's birthday is coming up, so i am sitting up at 3 am in despair and heartbreak. i still have no job and no immediate prospects.

i have begun posting my resume in all sorts of places i never would've dared and dream about rejection emails. this has to be rock-bottom. please let it end!

old blog. a little too old.

it's been a while ... crap. that song just came into my head. 90's ballad or whatever. ugh. all i need. ha.

anyway. my internet has been out at my house. apparently we've been a whole month behind on the thing and have only been paying the previous month's debt this whole time. since i'm not prepared to pay the whole amount as of yet, the internet will have to wait. in other words - so will you. (in terms of reading this blog.)

a few days ago the aparment office sent out a 48 hr-notice saying they'd be doing roach pest control for the complex. oh joy. per the notice, we had to move all our crap into the middle of the rooms - and i mean all of it. every cabinet, drawer, closet, and storage area. it was like moving out.

btw, everyone who's been within earshot of me has heard this story and is probably sick of hearing about it. well, guess what? it pissed me off so much that now those same people (if in fact they read my blogs) are going to have to read about it, too. OR! they can just skip this part. if they want. y'know?...cuz they might be sick of it. ...

so after the whole pesticide thing we declared that we have way too much junk. thus, instead of throwing everything back where it was (anywhere we could cram it, basically) i began going through everything of mine to downsize. i didn't get rid of half of my stuff, which i had been aiming for, but i did let go of a ton of clothes, books, and other miscellaneous thing-a-muh-bobs.

i feel lighter. and even though i said i'd post some of the stuff on facebook for friends to have first dibs, when the time came i donated all of it. i just needed to be rid of it. i think that if i had gone through with typing it all out i would've started to justify why i had all of it in the first place and then it would've all ended up back in the bottom of my closet (or other cramming places). plus, some kid might not have ended up with my Tigger shirt, denim skirt with the gaudi broach thing, or endless collection of plastic dinosaurs. (don't worry...i kept most of them...)

i do feel a little sad, though. *sigh*

i'm so awesome. there. i said it.

it's been a while since my last blog. some stuff has happened.


firstly, i would like to discuss the relocation of Jessa. as you all DON'T know, Jessa is a feral cat. she hates, or is deathly afraid of, humans and the like. also, she never belonged to me or my boyfriend. she was adopted by my sister who, for a long time, could not keep her (hence her staying with us and our 2 cats, Caska and Bobcat).
a couple of weeks past, my sister took her back. Bobcat took a field trip with Jessa and was scared out of her mind about it (being her first time in a cat carrier). it is safe to say that at this juncture in time, Jessa is being housed well.
However, Bobcat has her own opinions of the situation and will give an account at a later time.

the second thing i'd like to mention is that i have caught up with The Secret Life of the American Teenager. i LOVE that show. it's re-donk-u-lus, i know - but i really do. i'm just wishing and waiting for the day that Adrian will wear less lip gloss, Grace will become liberal, and Amy will grow up. seriously. how is she the mother of a kid and yet she seems to be the most spoiled, selfish brat to walk the planet? even in a suburb like that - with MOLLY RINGWALD for a mother, no less. yeesh.

in addition to The Secret Life, my other sister (@ocie7up) has gotten me hooked on Bones. the show is about the very interesting life of a forensic anthropologist who works with a steamy FBI agent (Booth, or David Boreanaz) and a team of scientists who solve murder investigations. it's awesome.
watch it. love it.

third on the list of subjects to discuss is the fact that i've had some job interviews. it's been slow cooking, but i'm hopeful.

the last subject to discuss is about remembering lost thought patterns from inebriation. ha. have you ever been so out of it, that the next day you had no idea what you were thinking when you wrote this down:

"Rome's tax system during the time of the last Caesar's reign."
OR
"OC's homework. Jonas Brothers. Nick J. Jemi. Blog."
OR
"pockets"

OR drew this:

For Shame

i'm having an affair. there. i said it. it's all out in the open. i'm a cheater. a filthy scumbag.

so i wrote a letter.

being that this is a first draft, maybe you could proofread for me...?


LETTER:

Dear Cherry Coke,

I love you. But I need to take a break. You will never stop being delicious to me - ours is a deep and effortless love. I did something very wrong - you know what...and I want to work things out. But I think in order to do that I need to clear my head and see where this road leads to. Please don't be mad at Coke, either. It's not Coke's fault - it's all mine. I know you probably don't want to see me...but if you want to talk you can find me on Facebook or Twitter (@micheon).


Love,
Micheon

I'm a bad person

today i littered. and i hated myself for it. well, i didn't mean to.

this morning my boyfriend and i went to the Tempe Town Lake. while we were admiring the ducks and laughing about the time i saw some dude trying to surf (wet suit and all) i reached in my pocket to find some paper when my pen fell into the lake. my boyfriend was convinced that if i were to hold his sweater and grip the wall he could hover over the water and be able to save the pen. after several seconds of serious contemplation of this proposal, i decided the pen was too far out and if i were to drop him my swimming capabilities would be severely insufficient.

plus - yuck. that water looked disgusting.

so i watched the pen float away and knew it would haunt me all day. i hate litterbugs. i feel like i just dirtied the world. :(

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
on another note! can you believe some guy was trying to surf in Tempe Town Lake? when i saw this unknown dude in the lake i was on a bus shuttle downtown and i remember the person sitting in front of me saying (loudly and to no one in particular), "he's gonna be waiting a long time!"

Music Is In My Soul

Pipe Dreams

earlier i was listening to Play My Music by the Jonas Brothers. (i know, i know - people who know me are going, "another gush moment about the Jonas Brothers." but seriously, listen to the song. it's freakin' amazazing.)

i wish i made music. i mean really made music. yes, i know there are classes for that kind of thing - but i wish i was a natural musician. there are some things in this world that can never be taught - like how to write a great song and still have room in your head for more. now, some songs aren't necessarily written by the musician performing (Play My Music was actually not written by the JOBROS), this i know. but, it takes so much for all the people involved to know just what the song is supposed to feel like.

music is feeling. not simply sound, but feeling. i wish i could make people feel the way i'm feeling sometimes. sound is great an all, but i'd rather people felt what i felt more than heard what i'm saying. that is an amazing kind of power. to let someone else (if only one other person) into your head and experience the resounding power of shared emotion is...miraculous.

maybe one day i'll be able to write a song. countless times i've tried just to have to put those hopes back in the drawer for another attempt at another time. sigh. i guess it might be too much pressure on myself to try to squeeze forced miracle into my life. i'm so bad with pressure. i'm like that fumbling idiot in a scary movie who can't get their keys in the lock in time.

i suppose for now i'll just have to settle for dancing until my feet can't feel the ground - which is actually not so bad. :D

Love Letters

one time i wrote a love letter. ok, i've written quite a few. i used to pour my soul out to whoever i had a crush on. well - not "whoever," but certainly to one too many crushes i've had over the years.

it's funny how i don't remember all the things that i put into those letters, but i remember exactly how i was feeling when i wrote them. this worries me. ha!

it worries me because i am a hard-core emotional person. i used to believe in romance movies and love songs more than the earth that pushed up from underneath me. i imagined a world that only involved being swept off my feet, having a big fight/moment of truth that ultimately resulted in the best kiss of my life while soaked in the rain. i never could decide on the ending, though. but it was definitely more than dramatic.



luckily, i haven't strayed too much from this imagination. i still daydream all of the time about conversations i'll probably never have and scenes of passionate embraces. haha.

even more luckily, though, i have a real life. with real characters and real consequences. and lord am i glad that i never ended up with those kids who found themselves embarrassed and red-faced reading my sappy attempt at romance.

right now i'm where i'm supposed to be. sitting here, with my cats, my own messes to clean up, listening to music, and watching James grimace while he plays World Of Warcraft. I love him.

i hate Billy Blanks. but i abhor Shellie. Shellie is the worst.

if you have ever done Tae Bo before, you know what i'm talking about. it's one thing for Billie Blanks to go and be all positive and energetic the whole time, pep-talking you through the whole thing, but Shellie goes around having perfect form, stamina, and SMILING the entire time. SMILING! SMILING?!? SMILING. ugh! it makes me want to upper-cut her in the jaw. of course, it's probably also so toned that i'd only hurt myself.


sigh. needless to say, i have begun working out again. and i don't hate her. but i do.

These arms were meant for sewing!

"One of the biggest challenges you'll face in your life is folding a fitted sheet." - Sweet Lady in How to Fold a Fitted Sheet YouTube

ain't that the truth.

today i did some volunteer work at a shelter/resource center for the homeless. when i got there the staff were amazed at just how little "customers" were coming in to be helped. so amazed that, unfortunately, i was given the task to stand around for an hour talking to Luis (another volunteer) about my vampire schedule, school, and the deliciousness of the cupcakes being given out.

finally, we were reassigned to another area and my biggest fear soon faced me. i was *DUN-DUN-DUN* told to fold a box of sheets.

now, folding flat sheets are easy-peasy (sp?), but i am the WORST fitted sheet folder. the absolute worst. my mom used to chase me away from the sheet folding because i was so clueless and so i never learned (or even saw) how to fold a fitted sheet. completely embarrassing, i know.

so how have i been folding them now that i'm on my own, you ask? well...let's just say my sheets tend to take up a maximum amount of mass AND volume wherever they are...

anways! immediately when i got home i youtubed how to fold a fitted sheet and a lovely woman created a video how-to who shared my thoughts on the matter.

so - for those of you who want to know (or just want to laugh at my expense) - here is the video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5k9nWcuFc

Today I Read Cat in the Hat 4x

made a singing youtube last night (or rather this morning around 3am). it kinda sucked. but, at the end (as usual) Bobcat decided she wanted to harmonize. that cat loves to sing as much as i do, i think. also, she has the same taste in music. i think i'll ask her what our next cover should be.

today i did some babysitting. pulling an all-nighter is not recommended when one has to babysit. neither is accepting babysitting responsibilities when you've pulled and all-nighter. neither is having hot chocolate and spicy chips at the same time. that has nothing to do with babysitting - i know - but still very good insight nonetheless.

ok. time to fiddle with some electrical stuff...or whatever that mess is called behind the tv that is prohibiting me from watching cartoons.

Bobcat Harbors a Secret

Bobcat: I don't understand why they just don't say happy bertday to her. I mean, I thought at least nikjonus would understand! She loves his music! And! He's amazing!
Caska: "Amazing?"
Bobcat: Heck yes! That's nik-talk for sooper-crazy-great-purfec-fun-yummy-scrumpshus-and SUHWEET!
Jessa: Oh lord.
Caska: Bobcat, do you... .do you like Nick Jonas?
Bobcat: Almost as much as I like playing and eating. And sometimes when I'm playing, I sing nikjonus. I know all the words. (*proudly*)
Caska: All the words to which song?
Bobcat: All of them.
Caska: Wait, you're telling me that you know ALL the words to ALL of the songs on his NEW album?
Bobcat: Yah!
Jessa: How?
Bobcat: I listened to that little box with the strings all by myself!
Caska: What little box?
Bobcat: The one that nikjonus sings out of. That little ...box! You know! It's over there! (*points*)
Caska: You listened to Bon's iPod?! Were you careful?! The last 2 times we got in trouble because you chewed the earphones beyond repair!
Jessa: I hate that name. "Pod." Filth.
Bobcat: IT'S FINE, OK? Jeez! Wuns I got it to work it was no problim. Hmpf! ...Can we jus talk about the twitter thing?
Jessa: How do you know about Twitter, but you don't know what an iPod is?
Bobcat (*not hearing Jessa*): He should just say happy bertday to me-HER. I mean.